How to start a business whilst juggling life (and children)
I started Vanjo from a spare bedroom, during that time I worked in three different shops (at different times) and also worked as a waitress, they were all part time jobs, designed to bring money in, to allow me to pursue launching a lingerie brand. What it also gave me was the power to realise that sometimes I could get more work done in three hours than the whole day; as I I knew I only had that amount of time rather than the luxury of the whole day. On Thursdays I remember I use to work on Vanjo in the morning, head into the city centre after lunch, go work in a clothes shop, finish that shift then catch a bus to the restaurant (get them to feed me) and work a waitress shift until the late hours of the day.
We seem to have this notion when starting out with a business that it should support us straight away and that simply is not the case.
Fast forward ten years later I set up this company ‘Van jonsson Design’ with a three month in tow, slightly different as the little chap didn’t sleep so I never had the luxury of ‘working when he naps’.
Through the snippets of time I managed to slowly build up taking on clients and writing books. I, at one point got a part time job as a Teachers Assistant for a primary school, but with childcare costs, time and money and travelling I didn’t last long as it seem conducive to be spending time not making money when I could be trying to use my time to build a foundation in my business.
So, I present to you the good, the bad and the ugly truths of starting a business, keeping the business running when you have one child constantly at home throughout.
I often thought, mainly when there was sleepless nights should I wait until they were old enough, so I could actually spend time working rather than grabbing moments, even though there was some points, some really hard times I’m so glad I didn’t and here is why in case you’re wondering the same.
YEARS LOST
My oldest is nearly ten and my youngest is nearly five (there is also one in the middle) and the youngest has just started school, if I had waited I would have waited nearly ten years, life changes too much to not start something you have an idea on. I had a sticky note on my computer for the first few years saying ‘it’s the direction not the speed that counts’ and it’s true, even though it took me five years to write the grade book, whilst balancing everything else out, it’s out there and I’ve been able to build on it.
When I had three under five, I knew that most nights by 8pm they would all be asleep and I would get two hours of work in now I can often have someone wanting to chat to me until 9pm or ‘need water/ a wee’ etc. If I had have waited my night time work would never have got done. Also now the smallest is at school it does give me time to reflect to know I’ve had a great fortunate time to hang out with them all.
OPPORTUNITIES (THE GOOD)
I can truly say I have had opportunities I would have missed, if I hadn’t have been looking after kids all day. Looking after them all day meant I had to work in the evenings which has led me to work a lot with American clients, because of the time difference. I took on a six month contract with Lascivious for the re-brand and they were based in LA at the time, this meant I had to be available for zoom calls from 8.30pm-10.30pm every day, so when all three kids were asleep I logged on. Had I not, five years previously sat in the evening I don’t think I would have had the confidence or the staying power to take on this client. I have been able to work with clients all around the world, and even at one point was up chatting at 6am to a client in New Zealand, because I knew I couldn’t really get work done in the day I looked for times I could.
Time wise when you are given eight hours in the day the job will take you eight hours, having previous experience of working in short blasts I knew it was possible to blast out work in a shorter period of time rather than a leisurely pace, you need to build systems in place whether that is projects broken down or a general list. In the most chaotic times, I would break down a project into lots of 30 min chunks so I knew how long it would take me and then I could cross off things easier. For this I use to use just a standard notebook but also got on Trello which worked well for the bigger longer projects.
Overall the opportunities from what just started as an idea, have been amazing, to brands buying my books to teach their interns, to be involved with launching new brands all over the world in swimwear and lingerie, to helping brands with maternity and mastectomy bras, featuring in newspapers and magazines as a ‘lingerie expert’ and giving my views , speaking on podcasts, to teaching workshops.
I’m very proud of what I have achieved in the past ten years whilst always having a child at home and keeping everyone alive ! And being there for them.
THE LONELINESS (THE BAD)
This one was a hard one, when the first baby was born he wasn’t a great sleeper, I had only moved back to the UK for a year in a new place before he was born, and although I made new friends, all returned back to work after maternity leave bar a couple who choose to be SAHM. There was no-one around me I could relate to, trying to launch a business and look after a baby, social media definitely helped me seek out similar people but it wasn’t the same as knowing someone close by to chat to.
My days often started with getting up at before 5am to get work done or staying up late to meet deadlines and hanging out with tiny people in the day. After lockdown I did meet more people who were working from home, but to be honest it’s only in the past year that I have met one other person who works for themselves and has a child at home consistently.
I remember when I added the lingerie talks on my website and got my first booking. I had to cancel 30 minutes before, and had to give a refund as a child wouldn’t settle, it took me another year before I put that offer back on my website. It felt like I was juggling too much. And that I found was a problem I kept coming back to, when it ran smooth it was smooth, but there were times when it felt I was spreading myself too thin. The most important thing I think I have learnt is acceptance, accept that even though I can do it, I accept there are times when I just need to surrender into the fact sometimes I can’t do everything on the timescale I want.
What has been lovely about this work is the response I get when I’ve helped someone launch their brand, or give them the answers they have been months searching for. When I get sales of books and then someone takes the time to message me. I have found some amazing people within this industry including the ones I have helped and the ones already in this industry doing something similar to me.
You need to find the situations where you don’t have be by yourself, to seek the people out, as when you are in the thick of it it can be easy to feel like you are the only one doing what you are doing.
THE MONEY (THE UGLY)
Each year I have steadily increased my turnover, and when I look back over my accounts it is the year after each child in which my productivity and income has been at it’s lowest (and in correlation to what you are dealing with, it makes perfect sense it is).
The year after the middle child was born, I did look at packing it all in, until I then looked at jobs and realised that I would be still in a rubbish position with childcare costs for two kids and travelling hours for me. I did feel in a situation I couldn’t win, I wasn’t working for a company where I could negotiate hours/days off. That year I really did question the path I was taking, and the career path I took, and began to question why I hadn’t I chosen something which was accessible where I lived. It was a hard year, trying to do it all and not feel like I was letting someone down.
To be honest I would have made more money if I had closed up my business and lived off benefits, but if I hadn’t have ridden it out, I wouldn’t be in the position I am in now, it can be quite hard though when your friends are working and then at the weekends going for adventures. How did I survive that year? My face saw the park more times than I can remember (I lived in the middle of the city centre so there were plenty of parks in abundant) and although I wouldn’t recommend this I lived off my overdraft and credit cards.
WOULD I HAVE CHANGED ANYTHING?
Looking back I don’t think I would, ideally it would have been nice for have lingerie design companies near where I lived (nearest one was a two hour commute) and if I could have gotten a part time job there whilst I built up my business that would have been ideal, but there wasn’t and lingerie design jobs are pretty hard to come by, so getting a job to work from home (before covid times) wasn’t an option.
Having worked at a steady pace for all these years, has meant that I’ve collected a lot of data from what people are looking for, where I haven’t been able to implement a book or e-course in response to the questions have asked, has meant that I only picked subjects where there has been an influx of requests, so in turn that has let me build a strong collection of knowledge on the website rather than following every idea. Also being presented with a different dynamic than heading to work and childcare I began to look for glimmers in other ways, spending sunny days in the parks, grabbing a coffee and packing the buggy with food and seeing where the day takes you. Living on my own terms.
WISE WORDS
So if you are in the same boat and are wanting to start a lingerie brand, or different aspect of a lingerie company like freelancing for different companies or helping others. My top three take aways:
Direction is more important than speed
Celebrate each sale/client you work with - it’s all to often you want to move onto the next or look to see how you can more sales. You are doing what you wanted, celebrate that.
Everything changes, whether you have children or are balancing a full time job with setting your business up, it can seem like you are in the same position for ages but then boom, something shifts and changes.
And a sneaky number four, look for the glimmers, the benefits of what you are doing. And also if you have kids don’t sit down to work, as soon as you do they think you are doing something interesting and want to look.
Always stand.