Be vulnerable

Having attended many talks on business ( I might have been there also for the free coffee and hopefully holding out for cake or biscuits) when I began my business to break up the monotony of working alone and wanting to meet others in business, I have found myself in a sea of suits (mainly men) on many occasion. Nothing makes you stand out more when you’re asked what you do and you say “ I design pants, everyone needs underwear right?” whilst the guy you’re sat next to who is launching his accountancy business and doesn’t know where to look. Now I might be generalising but as 96% of my customers view themselves as female, I’m going to stick my neck (or boobs) out and say it’s okay to swim against the tide and it’s okay to be vulnerable or show vulnerability whilst in business.

I have to say when I’ve attended business talks, classes etc unless its been a women only one, I am in the minority and hearing someone talk about “smashing their competitors” I roll my eyes and realise that I am not their target market for that talk.

Don’t get me wrong, I know who “my competitors” are, but the only things I want to smash are the so-called ideals that people think you have to have to be in business. I’m a more of a “I wanna take over the world” kinda gal. Sure I keep an eye on what everyone else is up to, but to be honest, with “my competitors” I often work with them, I share discounts codes for them to pass on to their customers, and in the past have gone in to buy the same fabric as them so they could reach the minimums as it was a great fabric that I hadn’t seen or knew where to source.

What they have or I have is different, we may be offering similar products, but we have come on a different path and have different outlooks so what we offer will be never be 100% the same.

Being vulnerable isn’t about showing everything, showing all your fears, but I think vulnerability is good for business, is because it moves you past fear of failure, it allows you connect with people better, and you begin to ask for help with the right people to move your brand forward. It makes you stronger as you no longer care about how others view you. (For those wishing to read further about vulnerabilty, Brené Brown did an awesome Ted talk on the power of vulnerabilty).

I once did a business talk in Belfast when I was 28 years old, I was approached by Invest NI, having done a business course by them, they followed up to see who was in business years later to come and talk about the ups and downs of running a business. I decided to do my talk on the honest side of behind the scenes, and at the time kept a detailed journal about my brand, so I read two extracts a month apart, one was about the fact that I had cried as I had no money in my bank account, and the other was the jubilation I felt a month later when I received a £2,000 order. It was one of the hardest talks I’ve ever done as I felt totally vulnerable, one because you want to feel like you are successful in front of others and two the audience were many years older than me and again mainly suits of men. The talk before me was about facts about building the best website for your business, so my talk was totally on a different scale to theirs. But the feedback I got from the audience afterwards was lovely, and what I learnt was that feeling vulnerable is about pushing yourself out your comfort zone, and being you. So if you have a new idea about lingerie design, but are worried what people will think or if they will like it, take a deep breath and do something that will move you one step closer to realise and help your brand. The more you do it, the easy it will become and then ‘bing’ you will have arrived at your destination and have your brand ready to launch, and shown how you differ from other brands. So if there is anything you’ve been putting off for fear you own self telling you it’s no good, chances are you’re not letting your true brand shine through.